I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
