I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I will pee on everything he values.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
