I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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