Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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