That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
