So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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