If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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