Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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