Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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