this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
