We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
