Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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