My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
