The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
