We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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