i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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