I cockslap morals
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
