there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
