i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think your dad took our porno
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
