its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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