well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
