Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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