So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They took my balls.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
