it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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