hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
