Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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