If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
