i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
