Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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