soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My dick has a subreddit
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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