dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Let's get the cat blown out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
