i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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