its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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