apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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