She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
