then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
