A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
