so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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