He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
