he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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