he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
