He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
