So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
