I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
