i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
