Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
