I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
