It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
