Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
