i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
