I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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